Life with expectations? Let's feel the gift of giving
What do you expect?
Do you expect them to treat you as you think they should, to love you, to respect you, to make you smile, to make you happy, to do your responsibilities, or to read your mind perhaps? Or do you expect things that are not on this list?
But, my question would be - why do you live with expectations?
The first step towards living a life of freedom is to stop expecting from other people. Learn to live without expectations from others. Then you would know that you are a free woman who has reached the peak of a fulfilled and happy life.
I do not know what the definitions of living a life of freedom and happiness means to you, how you define them. I will tell you my thoughts and definitions. They both are bound and compliment each other, but I will try to separate them by definition.
A life of freedom is nothing but a life without expectations from others, a life filled with your own/personal thoughts, setting goals and achieving them, actions that fulfill you and give meaning to your existence to recognition - yes, YOU. Who can “see” and feel your values, will accepts you, respects you. You should not fight or seek or expect respect, love, smiles from others, you should possess all of that, you should bring yourself to a life of freedom. Along that path everything around you will become so defined and clear, that only those who you care about and that care about you will be the only ones remaining.
And what about the definition of happiness? I do not know what the definition of happiness means to you, how you define it. For me happiness is a moment, moment of fulfillness, a sense of what is happening to you, a sense of understanding, accepting and taking the positive vibes. If you know yourself well enough, if you have accepted yourself, then you will lay out those moments like a puzzle. Believe me.
So, it is not up to anyone else, everything is up to you. Don’t expect from others, but learn how to GIVE. Convey the freedom of living, give love, positive energy, sincere words, give support, encouragement, constructive criticism, give everything related to the art of living. Let these be the red lines you draw after which you will not accept anything else. The opposite side will differentiate itself. Those who are exalted to a state of freedom of mind will recognize, receive, and share. The rest will withdraw on their own. They will not be able to survive in such contact, because they do not have the capacity to receive such energy that is contrary to theirs. They will want to resist, get tired of constantly resisting and they will leave you. You will stay with those who know to accept, appreciate, and with whom you share the same values. I talked about this topic in my book The Winning Skill, discussed in detail in my Program The Winning Skill, about those red lines, how not to go pass them, techniques about quickly studying people, immediately recognizing manipulations and manipulators, how to keep them at a safe distance from yourself, but also how to avoid getting into toxic relationships, or how to get out of them if you are currently in. And finally how to achieve and enjoy your success.
But why did I bring up a life without expectations within the topic of manipulators and manipulations? Because there is a common technique here – the art of giving.
How can you learn to give?
The first step - examining yourself. Asking questions and finding answers, honest answers, maybe painful answers to the most painful questions about yourself, but you need to analyse yourself first. When you find the answers to all the questions you’ve asked, you will get to know yourself with all your flaws and virtues. You will learn to love yourself (as others used to say), or “learn how to accept yourself with all your flaws and virtues that you are aware of” (as I used to say). When you are aware of all your flaws and virtues, the next step is to clear them. Change and throw out any flaws that you don’t like, and nurture and keep any virtues that you do like. You know, like that seasonal wardrobe change. Than, you will possess everything what you need, in yourself, your soul, your mind, your heart. It will be not necessary to expect from others. You will be satisfied and you will have plenty for giving.
Thus, when you expect nothing from others, you receive the most unexpected gift of life.
When you give to others, you receive the most. You are the winner. Do you know why? Because not everyone knows how to receive.
Greatness is seen in those who can give and in a state where there is no one to receive from. And, those who just wait to receive or always expecting anything from others, are never satisfied or happy. So, learn how to possess everything that make you feel satisfied, fulfilled and happy. Learn how to possess the gift of giving.
The easiest and shortest way you can choose is not to invest in the relationship and everything to fall apart. The greatness of your being is to nurture and invest in relationships, in common values, constantly and always.